At this time when a year is coming to an end I think we can all agree it is a time of reflection of the past, and thinking about what we desire in the future.
After quite a revolutionary and trying year this past year has been it sometimes is hard to remember the good things that had happened, and to continue to have hope into the future. But for every large trying moment that has happened, there has to be about ten great things that had to fill in those times between the trying times.
And I have tried to make it a point this year to think about that. As much as I fear of what could happen with certain unstable situations, weep for those injustices that have happened this past year that I felt helpless to stop, and feel the frustration of not fulfilling goals I had set out at the beginning of this year, I also see many wonderful moments that I made sure to look at with gratitude and happiness. Like seeing my son grow everyday. Everyday has been an adventure with him and every discovery he has is a joy to see. His face lights up so brightly when he sees something new, or figures something out. And though he'll have his tantrums and will want attention when I'm in the middle of something I think is "important", I wouldn't trade anything for those little hugs and to hear him laugh when he's being tickled. And my husband's warm affection and him telling me that he loves me every moment, everyday. Those special times I have spent with family and friends. And though sadly I have lost one of my precious fur children this past year, I am thankful to have my other very loud but lovable kitty to grace my lap from time to time with endless affection.
There is also much to be excited about for the future. The great thing about the future is it is always changing, always moving. You never really are in one place all the time. And, if you choose to believe and keep faith in yourself, you can find the ability to live the life you desire, not feel stuck or unable to do things. Any excuse that comes to mind has some origin with a limit you have placed upon yourself. If you truly want change, be the change. How that change happens may not be what you thought it would be, but if you keep up the thoughts and actions that you can do it then it will happen.
This year I have set several resolutions, several desires for changes, and some haven't happened, yet. But several have. I have experienced new things, done things I have desired a long time to do, and found out things about myself I didn't know were there. And yes, of course there have been hard times. Times where angry words have been said, where tears have been shed, where sudden loss left empty places in my heart, and fears have overwhelmed. But I can't let that dictate my life, and how I live it.
I have many hopes for the future. Looking into our own home, expanding our family, learning more crafts and finally finishing my herbalist lessons. To see family we haven't seen in years, and to expand upon new hobbies that we are experiencing together as a family. Maybe even visit some new places. And yes, this seems a bit broad in description but it's very detailed in my head about what these experiences are. Will I experience all of them? Maybe not. I don't think anyone can say for sure what the future holds. But I certainly aim to try and do them all.
I can see how this past year has been trying on many of us. And I could easily agree with everyone who is celebrating that such a hard/sad/trying year is finally over. But what kind of year are we going into? Like Miss Stacey would say "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it......yet." Not only do I like the fact that she had my name, but she was very right about that. But more importantly I don't want to live this next year carrying the anger and fears that have ruled this year. So if I'm going to choose to remember this year I choose to remember that it taught me that how my life is experienced depends on my view of those experiences, and acceptance of that which I can't change.
So here's not only to the lesson's of the past, but to tomorrow with no mistakes in it.... yet.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
A Lifetime Ago, But Only Yesterday....
So here I find myself again. After going through a whirl wind of giving birth to a beautiful baby boy and finding my feet as a mother of a rambunctious two year old, I find myself trying to go back to my roots.
I have found being a stay at home Mom one of the most fulfilling jobs in my life, and yet the one that has driven me the most crazy. Our son has changed our lives in ways we've never thought possible. From the everyday mundane, like getting out the door in less than five minutes is impossible now, to the overall epiphanies, like how much bigger and scarier the world becomes when you have to care for and defend this small creature that has no clue what danger truly is!
But with in all this I have also found that hidden desire to once again go back to who I am as my own person. It took a while to figure that out. As a new mother I threw myself into the every day workings that is raising a child. And though I loved it and I loved him more than anything, I still found myself getting upset easily and feeling burnt out. Compound this with the Mommy guilt of feeling like you're never able to do enough in a day and I was about ready to fall off the deep end. But, slowly, I started to work on bringing back the small parts of me that keep me grounded. Cooking a meal, drying some herbs, getting a new book on an interesting subject that has nothing to do with raising a child. And taking time each day to just relax and breathe. To have some me time.
And that is how I found myself back to here. Before I would pressure myself to post, feel guilty that I didn't. Like I was failing at some regiment. And what would people think if I didn't write a post in a while? Well, it wasn't the end of the world. In fact it was good to take the time to figure these things out. But I am also glad to be typing these words again, to be reflecting on my new way of living and honoring it. This new phase of mother hood has really made me think of what I want to do and where I want to go from here. That being a mother isn't the only thing I have to do, even if it is a big part of my life now.
It is amazing how life changes so quickly. How something can happen in a day and make it seem like yesterday was a lifetime ago. And that is what happened when my Alex came into the world. The life I lived before that day was completely different than the day he was born and it changed my life forever. And I will never forget it.
It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet it was only yesterday.
I have found being a stay at home Mom one of the most fulfilling jobs in my life, and yet the one that has driven me the most crazy. Our son has changed our lives in ways we've never thought possible. From the everyday mundane, like getting out the door in less than five minutes is impossible now, to the overall epiphanies, like how much bigger and scarier the world becomes when you have to care for and defend this small creature that has no clue what danger truly is!
But with in all this I have also found that hidden desire to once again go back to who I am as my own person. It took a while to figure that out. As a new mother I threw myself into the every day workings that is raising a child. And though I loved it and I loved him more than anything, I still found myself getting upset easily and feeling burnt out. Compound this with the Mommy guilt of feeling like you're never able to do enough in a day and I was about ready to fall off the deep end. But, slowly, I started to work on bringing back the small parts of me that keep me grounded. Cooking a meal, drying some herbs, getting a new book on an interesting subject that has nothing to do with raising a child. And taking time each day to just relax and breathe. To have some me time.
And that is how I found myself back to here. Before I would pressure myself to post, feel guilty that I didn't. Like I was failing at some regiment. And what would people think if I didn't write a post in a while? Well, it wasn't the end of the world. In fact it was good to take the time to figure these things out. But I am also glad to be typing these words again, to be reflecting on my new way of living and honoring it. This new phase of mother hood has really made me think of what I want to do and where I want to go from here. That being a mother isn't the only thing I have to do, even if it is a big part of my life now.
It is amazing how life changes so quickly. How something can happen in a day and make it seem like yesterday was a lifetime ago. And that is what happened when my Alex came into the world. The life I lived before that day was completely different than the day he was born and it changed my life forever. And I will never forget it.
It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet it was only yesterday.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Ten Surprising Things About Pregnancy
During the last 30 weeks I have been blessed to carry our first child. We've both wanted to have children for quite some time. So when, on Valentines Day, I excitedly presented two positive pregnancy tests to my husband in a baby bottle, we both celebrated that our lives would never be the same again.
Now, there are several well known symptoms and side effects of pregnancy that a woman expects to experience when she is pregnant. Morning sickness, fatigue, bloating, weight gain, swollen feet, mood swings, cravings and aversions. And this I was, to some extent, prepared for. And I must say this little gremlin that has taken over my body these past 30 weeks has been pretty compassionate with me. My morning sickness was more of a light and sporadic nausea, fatigue resulted in afternoon naps, and my weight gain has been consistant since the second trimester, but also on target. My cravings/aversions have been powerful, but not unmanageable, if you like peanut butter sandwiches and lemonade. And mood swings, well, my husband will probably give you a better assessment of that. But I don't think I've tortured him too much with my moods. I just have to avoid Hallmark commercials.
But there have been many pregnancy symptoms that I did not expect to have. I remember, when I was trying to become pregnant and had very idealistic visions of what pregnancy is, my friend said "It's like an alien takes over your body for 9 months, and then it needs to come out." How very unromantic! That's not possible!
Well......... I guess I was wrong about that. It does seem to be a perfect description. This child takes over all your life functions, from your digestive system to your blood stream, and changes them to accommodate their growth. Your taste buds are no longer your own, your muscles are pulled in ways never before been pulled, your bladder needs to be emptied every hour on the hour. And forget about comfortable sleep. By the time you get your 50 pillows organized and you start to drift off, you have to get up to pee again. But, since when this baby comes I will need to be up for feedings I might as well take this as a training time.
But even these things I was kinda warned about before I got pregnant. So here is a list of ten things I found out when I did become pregnant that were never explained to me till I experienced them for myself.
TEN SURPRISING THINGS I FOUND OUT ABOUT BEING PREGNANT!
1.) How it takes 20 years for a pregnancy test to show a result!
I was having funny symptoms. Things were not tasting right, my body felt different, I could not function without a 2 hour nap every day. But most telling, my period was a week late. My period is never late. So there I am, sitting in the bathroom, staring at this stick I just peed on, praying that there are two little lines rather than one. And it seems like an eternity is passing me by. What do you mean it's only been a minute! Hasn't five years passed me by?!?
Then, those two lines appear, and another 20 years go by as you process what those two little lines mean.
2.) How hard it is to surprise your loved ones with the news!
For me in particular, it was surprising my husband. Now I could have totally gone running into the bedroom, woken him up from a deep sleep, and told him about the 50 years I was in the bathroom waiting for two lines to appear on a stick, and they did! Did I mention I took this first test at 5:30 in the morning?
But I didn't. At first, I wanted to make doubly sure, triply sure, that this test was correct. Which meant trying to sleep another three hours before driving over to CVS and buying every pregnancy test they had. And, since I was still processing everything, and it is our first child, I wanted the announcement to be special. Then, I realized, that Valentines Day was two days away! Perfect! Normally we don't get into Valentines Day celebrations, but I know that this one would remain in our hearts forever. So I got a gift bag, a baby bottle, some tissue paper and a card and set up the bottle so it could accommodate two different pregnancy tests, both that would be positive. Then, I wrapped it like a gift and hid it in the backroom closet. Then I waited, for TWO DAYS!!! It was exceptionally hard, especially when I told him to plan a dinner at a very special restaurant. He couldn't understand my new fascination with Valentines Day.
Well I woke up at 5 AM that day and could not get back to sleep. By 6AM I just stopped trying and read my book. By 6:30 I was staring my husband, willing him to wake up. By 7:00 I went to the bathroom an extra long time to see if he pulled out my card to surprise me with it. I could then give him his gift! 7:05, no card he's still asleep! By 7:15 I was tempted to shove him out of bed so he would get up. By 7:20 I think my ESP and my fidgeting finally woke him up enough to get his book from his nightstand and start to read it!!! NO!!!! That's it! Where is my card damn it! I want you to open this gift! So I very sweetly wished him a happy Valentines Day and handed him his card, so that he'd get the hint. Wondering why I am so excited about a card, he gets me mine. Then I give him his gift. Then he gives me a lecture about saying how we were not going to give each other gifts. I point to the box of chocolate truffles he just got me, which I sadly can't eat because I'm having an aversion to chocolate at that time. So he opens his present, and 20 more years pass. I jump up and down in the bed waiting for the meaning of those two lines to sink in. Finally he looks a me and says "We're pregnant?" YES!!! Commence the hugging and tears and more jumping up and down! One of the happiest moments of my life!
And luckily I didn't have to worry about keeping a secret from anyone else because we announced it to everyone! Even strangers we met on the street were not immune to my husband's excitement of the fact that "My wife is pregnant!" Even though the steak dinner didn't go over so well, with a red meat aversion that has not gone away.
3.) HOW BIG your boobs, belly, and feet get!
Now I knew that all of these things grow when you get pregnant. Feet swell, belly's grow big as baby grows, and your boobs fill with milk. Got it!
But they can't get THIS big, can they?!? And what do you mean that the feet will actually grow a size, without swelling? What do you mean in one month my bra size would increase one whole letter?!? AND IT CAN STILL GROW MORE?!?! And this belly is still going to grow bigger? What do you mean this kid is at the BEGINNING of it's final growth spurt! And yes, that's today's epiphany. And these boobs are STILL growing! Help!!!
4.) You can get pregnancy carpal tunnel.
Really?!? You can?!? I'm certainly not the only one surprised by this interesting symptom. But, around 10 weeks, I would wake up several times at night with my right hand asleep. Then, a few weeks later, the tingling kept happening all day. Then the pain when typing, writing, filing, driving ect. So, wondering what was happening, I went to my midwife. She confirmed it's a form of carpal tunnel that happens during pregnancy because of the swelling of the arteries pinching nerves in the hand.
So the cure? BIRTH! *grumble* Ice does help as does a brace, but really in the end I will be very happy to feel the tips of my fingers again when the baby is born!
5.) Complete loss of control with bodily functions!
I didn't realize how gross I would become when I became pregnant. I need to pee every hour, I fart and burp uncontrollably, and I didn't realize that drooling became more proficient and happened whenever it wants to, especially when you are thinking about food. Or sleeping. And the snoring. I guess I've been snoring so loudly my husband was fearful there was a problem. My midwife confirmed that this was all normal.
And lets not get into balance, or lack there of.
6.) How your mind reverts back to being 2 years old.
So, for the second time in my life I cry at the drop of a hat, forget things that were told to me five seconds earlier, and when I want something I want it NOW!
That's right, I'm two years old all of a sudden. And it also shows through my pb&j cravings as well. The only thing is that there is an adult voice behind all of these thoughts and feelings wondering why I'm acting like a two year old.
But then again, I'm pregnant. I can get away with it again!
7.) How wonderfully delicious something your craving tastes when you eat it!
There was a time when I thought I understood what a craving was. I naively thought that I knew what it was like to desire something to eat, and thought foolishly that when I had it that it tasted good.
Then I got my first pregnancy craving, queso dip! And I couldn't get enough of this stuff! And it tasted like nothing I ever had, but I desired that taste more than others and I couldn't help but consume all and any of it till bursting.
I will never look at cravings the same way again!
8.) That Uterus pushes everyone around!
Having worn historcial clothing from several different centuries, they all have the same contraption that everyone usually calls a corset. And yes, they do rearrange your organs to create the shape that was desired of that particular time period. And I thought that would be the only thing that would rearrange my organs.
Boy was I wrong.
This Uterus is a pushy organ! As the baby grows it grows ahead of the baby, pushing intestines, liver, gall bladder, bladder, kidneys, stomach, diaphragm and even lungs out of the way to make room for baby. How big? Well a pre pregancy uterus is the size of an orange. By the time it gets to our rib cage, it's the size of watermelon. No wonder you get heartburn, constipation, and shortness of breath during pregnancy, especially during the third trimester.
Luckily it shrinks after birth. But now I see how baby gets access to all the organs for it's punching/kicking pleasure.
9.) How much your spouse or significant other takes on when your pregnant.
Now I do mean that as an independent woman I do hate that I can't do certain normal things, like picking up pieces of paper or finding I can't stand long doing dishes because my hips hurt. Or when I can't get out of bed because I'm moving like a beached whale. Though cleaning the cat box is not something I'm displeased about giving up. Sorry hon!
But I didn't realize that they can take on many of the symptoms of pregnancy as well. My poor husband has joined me in many cravings and has been having very vivid dreams, which is something I'm joining him with. But most of all is the anxieties of bring a new life into this world have been shared between us. Though I'm more anxious about the next midwife appointment while he's more worried about having everything set up in time and how will the cats react. So, with both of our anxieties covered I think we'll have everything set for when this child comes.
And that leads me to my final surprise.....
10.) What do you mean I have to give birth to this child?!?!
Doesn't it just stay in there and I don't have to worry about pushing and pain and bedtimes and feeding schedules and diapers?
Now of course I know pregnancy is only 9 months and at the end the baby needs to be born. And I understand what needs to happen physically. None of that is a surprise to me.
The surprise is how surreal the birth part of pregnancy seems to me at this particular point. Maybe it's only because I can only concentrate on the here and now, making sure classes are set up and that we have space for a crib. The actual coming of this child seems like miles away with everything that needs to be done to prepare for it. Not within 10 or less weeks. At the most 12 weeks. Too long. There probably is a point that's hit that makes you think "Ok, I should be having a baby now!" But I certainly have not hit that. I just need to get to my breast feeding class tomorrow and a baby shower this weekend before next week's midwife appointment.
Yep, totally oblivious right now.
The wonderful thing about pregnancy I'm finding is all those surprising things, which some can be very annoying. But nothing brings a smile to my face more than feeling my baby hiccup or kick right now. Or watching the remote move on my belly as he kicks it off. And the fact that I not only helped create this being inside me, but am feeding, sheltering, and taking care of it within my own body just fascinates me to no end. And I really can't wait to hold him! At least after the baby showers and the birthing class though.
But there have been many pregnancy symptoms that I did not expect to have. I remember, when I was trying to become pregnant and had very idealistic visions of what pregnancy is, my friend said "It's like an alien takes over your body for 9 months, and then it needs to come out." How very unromantic! That's not possible!
Well......... I guess I was wrong about that. It does seem to be a perfect description. This child takes over all your life functions, from your digestive system to your blood stream, and changes them to accommodate their growth. Your taste buds are no longer your own, your muscles are pulled in ways never before been pulled, your bladder needs to be emptied every hour on the hour. And forget about comfortable sleep. By the time you get your 50 pillows organized and you start to drift off, you have to get up to pee again. But, since when this baby comes I will need to be up for feedings I might as well take this as a training time.
But even these things I was kinda warned about before I got pregnant. So here is a list of ten things I found out when I did become pregnant that were never explained to me till I experienced them for myself.
TEN SURPRISING THINGS I FOUND OUT ABOUT BEING PREGNANT!
1.) How it takes 20 years for a pregnancy test to show a result!
I was having funny symptoms. Things were not tasting right, my body felt different, I could not function without a 2 hour nap every day. But most telling, my period was a week late. My period is never late. So there I am, sitting in the bathroom, staring at this stick I just peed on, praying that there are two little lines rather than one. And it seems like an eternity is passing me by. What do you mean it's only been a minute! Hasn't five years passed me by?!?
Then, those two lines appear, and another 20 years go by as you process what those two little lines mean.
2.) How hard it is to surprise your loved ones with the news!
For me in particular, it was surprising my husband. Now I could have totally gone running into the bedroom, woken him up from a deep sleep, and told him about the 50 years I was in the bathroom waiting for two lines to appear on a stick, and they did! Did I mention I took this first test at 5:30 in the morning?
But I didn't. At first, I wanted to make doubly sure, triply sure, that this test was correct. Which meant trying to sleep another three hours before driving over to CVS and buying every pregnancy test they had. And, since I was still processing everything, and it is our first child, I wanted the announcement to be special. Then, I realized, that Valentines Day was two days away! Perfect! Normally we don't get into Valentines Day celebrations, but I know that this one would remain in our hearts forever. So I got a gift bag, a baby bottle, some tissue paper and a card and set up the bottle so it could accommodate two different pregnancy tests, both that would be positive. Then, I wrapped it like a gift and hid it in the backroom closet. Then I waited, for TWO DAYS!!! It was exceptionally hard, especially when I told him to plan a dinner at a very special restaurant. He couldn't understand my new fascination with Valentines Day.
Well I woke up at 5 AM that day and could not get back to sleep. By 6AM I just stopped trying and read my book. By 6:30 I was staring my husband, willing him to wake up. By 7:00 I went to the bathroom an extra long time to see if he pulled out my card to surprise me with it. I could then give him his gift! 7:05, no card he's still asleep! By 7:15 I was tempted to shove him out of bed so he would get up. By 7:20 I think my ESP and my fidgeting finally woke him up enough to get his book from his nightstand and start to read it!!! NO!!!! That's it! Where is my card damn it! I want you to open this gift! So I very sweetly wished him a happy Valentines Day and handed him his card, so that he'd get the hint. Wondering why I am so excited about a card, he gets me mine. Then I give him his gift. Then he gives me a lecture about saying how we were not going to give each other gifts. I point to the box of chocolate truffles he just got me, which I sadly can't eat because I'm having an aversion to chocolate at that time. So he opens his present, and 20 more years pass. I jump up and down in the bed waiting for the meaning of those two lines to sink in. Finally he looks a me and says "We're pregnant?" YES!!! Commence the hugging and tears and more jumping up and down! One of the happiest moments of my life!
And luckily I didn't have to worry about keeping a secret from anyone else because we announced it to everyone! Even strangers we met on the street were not immune to my husband's excitement of the fact that "My wife is pregnant!" Even though the steak dinner didn't go over so well, with a red meat aversion that has not gone away.
3.) HOW BIG your boobs, belly, and feet get!
Now I knew that all of these things grow when you get pregnant. Feet swell, belly's grow big as baby grows, and your boobs fill with milk. Got it!
But they can't get THIS big, can they?!? And what do you mean that the feet will actually grow a size, without swelling? What do you mean in one month my bra size would increase one whole letter?!? AND IT CAN STILL GROW MORE?!?! And this belly is still going to grow bigger? What do you mean this kid is at the BEGINNING of it's final growth spurt! And yes, that's today's epiphany. And these boobs are STILL growing! Help!!!
4.) You can get pregnancy carpal tunnel.
Really?!? You can?!? I'm certainly not the only one surprised by this interesting symptom. But, around 10 weeks, I would wake up several times at night with my right hand asleep. Then, a few weeks later, the tingling kept happening all day. Then the pain when typing, writing, filing, driving ect. So, wondering what was happening, I went to my midwife. She confirmed it's a form of carpal tunnel that happens during pregnancy because of the swelling of the arteries pinching nerves in the hand.
So the cure? BIRTH! *grumble* Ice does help as does a brace, but really in the end I will be very happy to feel the tips of my fingers again when the baby is born!
5.) Complete loss of control with bodily functions!
I didn't realize how gross I would become when I became pregnant. I need to pee every hour, I fart and burp uncontrollably, and I didn't realize that drooling became more proficient and happened whenever it wants to, especially when you are thinking about food. Or sleeping. And the snoring. I guess I've been snoring so loudly my husband was fearful there was a problem. My midwife confirmed that this was all normal.
And lets not get into balance, or lack there of.
6.) How your mind reverts back to being 2 years old.
So, for the second time in my life I cry at the drop of a hat, forget things that were told to me five seconds earlier, and when I want something I want it NOW!
That's right, I'm two years old all of a sudden. And it also shows through my pb&j cravings as well. The only thing is that there is an adult voice behind all of these thoughts and feelings wondering why I'm acting like a two year old.
But then again, I'm pregnant. I can get away with it again!
7.) How wonderfully delicious something your craving tastes when you eat it!
There was a time when I thought I understood what a craving was. I naively thought that I knew what it was like to desire something to eat, and thought foolishly that when I had it that it tasted good.
Then I got my first pregnancy craving, queso dip! And I couldn't get enough of this stuff! And it tasted like nothing I ever had, but I desired that taste more than others and I couldn't help but consume all and any of it till bursting.
I will never look at cravings the same way again!
8.) That Uterus pushes everyone around!
Having worn historcial clothing from several different centuries, they all have the same contraption that everyone usually calls a corset. And yes, they do rearrange your organs to create the shape that was desired of that particular time period. And I thought that would be the only thing that would rearrange my organs.
Boy was I wrong.
This Uterus is a pushy organ! As the baby grows it grows ahead of the baby, pushing intestines, liver, gall bladder, bladder, kidneys, stomach, diaphragm and even lungs out of the way to make room for baby. How big? Well a pre pregancy uterus is the size of an orange. By the time it gets to our rib cage, it's the size of watermelon. No wonder you get heartburn, constipation, and shortness of breath during pregnancy, especially during the third trimester.
Luckily it shrinks after birth. But now I see how baby gets access to all the organs for it's punching/kicking pleasure.
9.) How much your spouse or significant other takes on when your pregnant.
Now I do mean that as an independent woman I do hate that I can't do certain normal things, like picking up pieces of paper or finding I can't stand long doing dishes because my hips hurt. Or when I can't get out of bed because I'm moving like a beached whale. Though cleaning the cat box is not something I'm displeased about giving up. Sorry hon!
But I didn't realize that they can take on many of the symptoms of pregnancy as well. My poor husband has joined me in many cravings and has been having very vivid dreams, which is something I'm joining him with. But most of all is the anxieties of bring a new life into this world have been shared between us. Though I'm more anxious about the next midwife appointment while he's more worried about having everything set up in time and how will the cats react. So, with both of our anxieties covered I think we'll have everything set for when this child comes.
And that leads me to my final surprise.....
10.) What do you mean I have to give birth to this child?!?!
Doesn't it just stay in there and I don't have to worry about pushing and pain and bedtimes and feeding schedules and diapers?
Now of course I know pregnancy is only 9 months and at the end the baby needs to be born. And I understand what needs to happen physically. None of that is a surprise to me.
The surprise is how surreal the birth part of pregnancy seems to me at this particular point. Maybe it's only because I can only concentrate on the here and now, making sure classes are set up and that we have space for a crib. The actual coming of this child seems like miles away with everything that needs to be done to prepare for it. Not within 10 or less weeks. At the most 12 weeks. Too long. There probably is a point that's hit that makes you think "Ok, I should be having a baby now!" But I certainly have not hit that. I just need to get to my breast feeding class tomorrow and a baby shower this weekend before next week's midwife appointment.
Yep, totally oblivious right now.
The wonderful thing about pregnancy I'm finding is all those surprising things, which some can be very annoying. But nothing brings a smile to my face more than feeling my baby hiccup or kick right now. Or watching the remote move on my belly as he kicks it off. And the fact that I not only helped create this being inside me, but am feeding, sheltering, and taking care of it within my own body just fascinates me to no end. And I really can't wait to hold him! At least after the baby showers and the birthing class though.
Friday, August 1, 2014
Merry Lammas!!!
And we're back around to the harvest season again. Wasn't Beltane yesterday?!?!
But then again I still can't believe it's the beginning of August. Which means in less than three months I'll be holding my little son. And that puts harvest season into a new perspective. I mean of course every year we watch the warmth leave and know we have to stock the larder and get the fuzzy blankets out in preparation of the hibernation to come. But with a little one on the way, and coming on fast, I realize the many things that we have to get done to prepare for this little life, and it's not just bringing in the harvest.
So here is to a prosperous year full of abundance, and that this energy will assist me in preparing the way for the nesting time with our new child.
Blessing!
But then again I still can't believe it's the beginning of August. Which means in less than three months I'll be holding my little son. And that puts harvest season into a new perspective. I mean of course every year we watch the warmth leave and know we have to stock the larder and get the fuzzy blankets out in preparation of the hibernation to come. But with a little one on the way, and coming on fast, I realize the many things that we have to get done to prepare for this little life, and it's not just bringing in the harvest.
So here is to a prosperous year full of abundance, and that this energy will assist me in preparing the way for the nesting time with our new child.
Blessing!
Thursday, July 10, 2014
My Five Month Hiatus!
So that is a very nice title for stating that the last five months have been hectic and my blogs have become number 236 and 237 on my list of things to keep up with.
And I feel terrible about it.
I love talking about these simple things that I observe about life. And, now that I'm six months pregnant, there were probably many simple things that I could have discussed as they were happening. As the winter finally broke, and the few weeks of beautiful spring happened, and the summer came in hot and humid there were probably many simple moments, now lost. Animals have been born, gardens planted, plants are growing, and my belly keeps getting bigger and bigger, like my feet. And yet not one post from me.
No more I say! No more!
So that is why I am writing this post. To start up again what I started before. To keep those simple things coming. To share in this remarkable new life that is growing in me. To revel and celebrate those little things in life that make living worth while!
And I will certainly do that, with my next post.
Glad to be back!
And I feel terrible about it.
I love talking about these simple things that I observe about life. And, now that I'm six months pregnant, there were probably many simple things that I could have discussed as they were happening. As the winter finally broke, and the few weeks of beautiful spring happened, and the summer came in hot and humid there were probably many simple moments, now lost. Animals have been born, gardens planted, plants are growing, and my belly keeps getting bigger and bigger, like my feet. And yet not one post from me.
No more I say! No more!
So that is why I am writing this post. To start up again what I started before. To keep those simple things coming. To share in this remarkable new life that is growing in me. To revel and celebrate those little things in life that make living worth while!
And I will certainly do that, with my next post.
Glad to be back!
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
A Tale of Two Fires
As we settle down for the evening to ANOTHER snow storm, I can say, without a doubt, that I'm done with winter. I know many of you have the same sentiments as I do. And I'm usually one who tries to see each season for the beauty and wonderful things it brings that are different from the other seasons...... Nope, done with it.
But I do have to say one thing the snow has helped me with. Fire making!
If you think you've been cold in your central heated homes, it's nothing compared to walking into a home heated only by a wood fire, which has been out all night. Now, luckily, this is not a description of my home. But it is a description of where I work. And during some of those REALLY cold days during the two "Polar Vortex's", nothing would get me warm again besides a hot shower and a warm cup of tea. So getting a good fire going pretty quickly was a skill much needed.
Now, as I've probably mentioned before, I've done hearth cooking for about seven years now, so an open hearth fire is pretty much a piece of cake for me. Now obviously if you have damp wood, or lack of kindling, or a very wet hearth then it will be a little bit harder. But if you have a good stock of dry wood, a dry hearth, and an old phone book you should be golden. But one thing you learn when you do use a fire, for heat or for cooking or just to look pretty, that there is nothing more beautiful than a fully stocked woodpile of well seasoned wood and kindling.
Absolutely beautiful. Almost as beautiful as a large pile of manure that in 6 months will be a smaller pile of rich dirt. Every gardener's dream!
So, as you can see, one of the probably hundreds of hearth fires I've built. Notice the necessary good bed of coals to help ignite the dry fire wood. And how the firewood is actually raised a little above the coals so that the air can get through. The more air that can circulate through the wood, the bigger the fire. And always when you start, which isn't shown here, put a base of charcoal from the previously banked fire, it will help the kindling keep a flame going.
But, as the title states, not every fire I've made this year was in a hearth. I also had to help maintain, or build if it went out, fire in this wood stove. When I was first asked to do this I thought "No problem! I've made hundreds of fires in a hearth, so a wood stove should be easy!" Ha ha. Joke was on me this time.
It is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than a hearth fire. Now the building blocks are the same, the need for dry kindling and wood, start building with the small and work to the bigger pieces. But that's where it ends. Because of the heat gets much hotter, there usually are very few coals, if any, available to keep the kindling going. Also the air moves differently through the stove. So I would get things burning, position the larger pieces to catch, and then close the door. Then, two minutes later, I would open the door to a cloud of smoke and no fire. It took me a little bit before I realized the two knobs on the door could be opened to allow for better air flow. So then I would relight the fire, get it going, think everything was all set, close the door, and again would check on it and find a cloud of smoke and half torched wood sitting in a cold oven.
But I do have to say one thing the snow has helped me with. Fire making!
If you think you've been cold in your central heated homes, it's nothing compared to walking into a home heated only by a wood fire, which has been out all night. Now, luckily, this is not a description of my home. But it is a description of where I work. And during some of those REALLY cold days during the two "Polar Vortex's", nothing would get me warm again besides a hot shower and a warm cup of tea. So getting a good fire going pretty quickly was a skill much needed.
Now, as I've probably mentioned before, I've done hearth cooking for about seven years now, so an open hearth fire is pretty much a piece of cake for me. Now obviously if you have damp wood, or lack of kindling, or a very wet hearth then it will be a little bit harder. But if you have a good stock of dry wood, a dry hearth, and an old phone book you should be golden. But one thing you learn when you do use a fire, for heat or for cooking or just to look pretty, that there is nothing more beautiful than a fully stocked woodpile of well seasoned wood and kindling.
Absolutely beautiful. Almost as beautiful as a large pile of manure that in 6 months will be a smaller pile of rich dirt. Every gardener's dream!
So, as you can see, one of the probably hundreds of hearth fires I've built. Notice the necessary good bed of coals to help ignite the dry fire wood. And how the firewood is actually raised a little above the coals so that the air can get through. The more air that can circulate through the wood, the bigger the fire. And always when you start, which isn't shown here, put a base of charcoal from the previously banked fire, it will help the kindling keep a flame going.
But, as the title states, not every fire I've made this year was in a hearth. I also had to help maintain, or build if it went out, fire in this wood stove. When I was first asked to do this I thought "No problem! I've made hundreds of fires in a hearth, so a wood stove should be easy!" Ha ha. Joke was on me this time.
It is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than a hearth fire. Now the building blocks are the same, the need for dry kindling and wood, start building with the small and work to the bigger pieces. But that's where it ends. Because of the heat gets much hotter, there usually are very few coals, if any, available to keep the kindling going. Also the air moves differently through the stove. So I would get things burning, position the larger pieces to catch, and then close the door. Then, two minutes later, I would open the door to a cloud of smoke and no fire. It took me a little bit before I realized the two knobs on the door could be opened to allow for better air flow. So then I would relight the fire, get it going, think everything was all set, close the door, and again would check on it and find a cloud of smoke and half torched wood sitting in a cold oven.
Finally, after about an hour of fiddling with it, I got the fire going that you see there. AN HOUR! Who would have thought it would have been so hard, so different. But it did make it all the better when I did finally get it. It felt like a great achievement, and it was quite a good feeling when the house started to warm up.
So, with all the cold and all the snow that seems to never stop, think of the bright side. At least you didn't have to sit in front of a cold wood stove for an hour, trying to get a fire going. Oh, and that spring has to come some time.
On a side note, and speaking about good things that have come out of the cold winter, my husband and I are expecting!
Monday, January 20, 2014
The Perfect January Garden
I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!
That's something that is not often said about this limbo time of winter. I remember seeing a cartoon the other day that went something like this.....
The magical chaos of the holiday season, and the coziness of a warm fire during a snow storm is dulled when you have to go out and shovel, again!
But, in the dull drums of another cold, windy, icy, grey day I know I can grow the perfect garden.
Doesn't make much sense does it. Unless I take my private jet to Australia when I want to escape. Which would be impossible of course, there is no way I would just go down there for one day.
But all jokes aside, this is the time of year where my perfect garden comes into bloom. As the fruits of my labors create the best platform in which hundreds of plants grow in abundance. In my perfect garden the rain fall is just the right amount at night, the sun shines warmly during the day, not harshly, and there are no diseases or pests to control. And everything looks as pretty as a picture. Well, many pictures.
By now every gardener is nodding their heads knowingly. It's the most wonderful time of year for gardeners?
It's SEED CATALOG time!
Right now I'm looking over several seed catalogs that have been sent to me by mail. I'm perusing the glossy pages, becoming enchanted by all the pretty pictures, and circling more and more seed descriptions, having my small garden grow by the acre to accommodate them all. All thoughts of the prep work in spring, the tiresome weeding in the summer, and the over abundance of harvest in the fall don't affect us gardeners right now. It all fades away. The questions of why we decided on so many plants we ask in summer don't even enter our minds when the January Garden is created. The expressions "That sounds good!" and "I'd like to try that!" are stated often as each page brings more varieties of cucumbers than you thought imaginable. Twelve pages on eggplants? Sure! I'll circle half of them, even though I don't even like eggplant! That doesn't matter in my perfect garden. They sound interesting and tasty. Don't fast forward to summer where all my friends run away and hide when they see me coming with my boxes of eggplants and cucumbers.
This year my Perfect January Garden is even bigger and better than previous years imagining, mainly because my husband and I are moving soon and a place to have a garden is certainly a necessity. You know, with everything I've picked out for seeds, I'll need only a few acres to start with. Hope my friends like eggplant.
So when the cold and dreary and windy and cold and wet and cold and dark and did I say cold days get to me, and if feels like winter will never end, I can go to my Perfect January Garden and become excited for the warm days to come.
Minus the sweat, and digging, and weeding, and pest attacks, and frost, and lack or too much rain, or lack or too much sun, ect.......... that will come in spring.
That's something that is not often said about this limbo time of winter. I remember seeing a cartoon the other day that went something like this.....
The magical chaos of the holiday season, and the coziness of a warm fire during a snow storm is dulled when you have to go out and shovel, again!
But, in the dull drums of another cold, windy, icy, grey day I know I can grow the perfect garden.
Doesn't make much sense does it. Unless I take my private jet to Australia when I want to escape. Which would be impossible of course, there is no way I would just go down there for one day.
But all jokes aside, this is the time of year where my perfect garden comes into bloom. As the fruits of my labors create the best platform in which hundreds of plants grow in abundance. In my perfect garden the rain fall is just the right amount at night, the sun shines warmly during the day, not harshly, and there are no diseases or pests to control. And everything looks as pretty as a picture. Well, many pictures.
By now every gardener is nodding their heads knowingly. It's the most wonderful time of year for gardeners?
It's SEED CATALOG time!
Right now I'm looking over several seed catalogs that have been sent to me by mail. I'm perusing the glossy pages, becoming enchanted by all the pretty pictures, and circling more and more seed descriptions, having my small garden grow by the acre to accommodate them all. All thoughts of the prep work in spring, the tiresome weeding in the summer, and the over abundance of harvest in the fall don't affect us gardeners right now. It all fades away. The questions of why we decided on so many plants we ask in summer don't even enter our minds when the January Garden is created. The expressions "That sounds good!" and "I'd like to try that!" are stated often as each page brings more varieties of cucumbers than you thought imaginable. Twelve pages on eggplants? Sure! I'll circle half of them, even though I don't even like eggplant! That doesn't matter in my perfect garden. They sound interesting and tasty. Don't fast forward to summer where all my friends run away and hide when they see me coming with my boxes of eggplants and cucumbers.
This year my Perfect January Garden is even bigger and better than previous years imagining, mainly because my husband and I are moving soon and a place to have a garden is certainly a necessity. You know, with everything I've picked out for seeds, I'll need only a few acres to start with. Hope my friends like eggplant.
So when the cold and dreary and windy and cold and wet and cold and dark and did I say cold days get to me, and if feels like winter will never end, I can go to my Perfect January Garden and become excited for the warm days to come.
Minus the sweat, and digging, and weeding, and pest attacks, and frost, and lack or too much rain, or lack or too much sun, ect.......... that will come in spring.
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