At this time when a year is coming to an end I think we can all agree it is a time of reflection of the past, and thinking about what we desire in the future.
After quite a revolutionary and trying year this past year has been it sometimes is hard to remember the good things that had happened, and to continue to have hope into the future. But for every large trying moment that has happened, there has to be about ten great things that had to fill in those times between the trying times.
And I have tried to make it a point this year to think about that. As much as I fear of what could happen with certain unstable situations, weep for those injustices that have happened this past year that I felt helpless to stop, and feel the frustration of not fulfilling goals I had set out at the beginning of this year, I also see many wonderful moments that I made sure to look at with gratitude and happiness. Like seeing my son grow everyday. Everyday has been an adventure with him and every discovery he has is a joy to see. His face lights up so brightly when he sees something new, or figures something out. And though he'll have his tantrums and will want attention when I'm in the middle of something I think is "important", I wouldn't trade anything for those little hugs and to hear him laugh when he's being tickled. And my husband's warm affection and him telling me that he loves me every moment, everyday. Those special times I have spent with family and friends. And though sadly I have lost one of my precious fur children this past year, I am thankful to have my other very loud but lovable kitty to grace my lap from time to time with endless affection.
There is also much to be excited about for the future. The great thing about the future is it is always changing, always moving. You never really are in one place all the time. And, if you choose to believe and keep faith in yourself, you can find the ability to live the life you desire, not feel stuck or unable to do things. Any excuse that comes to mind has some origin with a limit you have placed upon yourself. If you truly want change, be the change. How that change happens may not be what you thought it would be, but if you keep up the thoughts and actions that you can do it then it will happen.
This year I have set several resolutions, several desires for changes, and some haven't happened, yet. But several have. I have experienced new things, done things I have desired a long time to do, and found out things about myself I didn't know were there. And yes, of course there have been hard times. Times where angry words have been said, where tears have been shed, where sudden loss left empty places in my heart, and fears have overwhelmed. But I can't let that dictate my life, and how I live it.
I have many hopes for the future. Looking into our own home, expanding our family, learning more crafts and finally finishing my herbalist lessons. To see family we haven't seen in years, and to expand upon new hobbies that we are experiencing together as a family. Maybe even visit some new places. And yes, this seems a bit broad in description but it's very detailed in my head about what these experiences are. Will I experience all of them? Maybe not. I don't think anyone can say for sure what the future holds. But I certainly aim to try and do them all.
I can see how this past year has been trying on many of us. And I could easily agree with everyone who is celebrating that such a hard/sad/trying year is finally over. But what kind of year are we going into? Like Miss Stacey would say "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it......yet." Not only do I like the fact that she had my name, but she was very right about that. But more importantly I don't want to live this next year carrying the anger and fears that have ruled this year. So if I'm going to choose to remember this year I choose to remember that it taught me that how my life is experienced depends on my view of those experiences, and acceptance of that which I can't change.
So here's not only to the lesson's of the past, but to tomorrow with no mistakes in it.... yet.
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