One of the things I love about my job is that I get to be a farm girl.
Yep, that's right. I get to muck stalls, and carry hay bales, and milk a cow, and brush down animals, and chase chickens, and look for turkeys, and be chased by geese..... you know, farm girl stuff.
And I love every part of it. I know that many people would go running the other way as fast as they can at the thought of having to shovel cow and horse poop every morning. Or having to take an hour of your day to find chickens and turkeys to put them away. Or having to carry hay bales through ice and snow while your feet become numb and the animals impatient. But I have done all of those things, and I still love it. I find it rewarding. Though it can be tough at times, you can see the product of your work. A clean barn for your animals. All of your poultry safe from predators. Everyone fed and content. And nothing beats working outside, even if the weather is bad.
But all of this farm work has had one unforeseen consequence.
The SMELL!
Now, I guess if everyone is doing farm work with you, then we will all smell the same. Then it won't matter too much. But when you're doing this work all day and then come home to your husband, who is a lawyer and hasn't been near a horse stall all day, well lets just say the smell of the barnyard is very apparent.
Now my husband is very supportive and loves that I'm doing work that I love. But when I come home from work, with my dirty jeans and mucky boots and hair all over the place, he comes to the door with a big smile on his face, hugs me while holding his breath, and then points to the bathroom so I can take a shower. This also made me aware that other people who don't work on a farm might also be repelled of the strong odor of muck, donkey, cow and horse. So the other day, when I had a chiropractic appointment after work, I made sure to take a shower and change my clothes so that I wasn't scorned by the rest of society. Or at least they could talk to me while not holding their breath. And I think my chiropractor appreciated it. But it did lead to a discussion about having a line of farm perfumes. Something that people could put on to make it seem like they are farmers when they've gotten out of their 9-5 desk jobs. Or people who are already farmers and want to emphasize their farmy smells.
So, I've thought about it long and hard and here is my line of Farm Girl Perfumes!
Ode De Muck: The quintessential Farm Girl scent. The farm begins and ends with muck. Whether it's fresh and smelly right from the horse's behind, or broken down into beautiful soil to put in your garden to grow many good veggies. And nothing says summer like the smell of fresh manure in the air.
Essence of Horse (or Cow, or Sheep, or Chickens): Really it's going to be several different perfumes, though we can have one that is a combination called Farm Menagerie. But nothing reflects better the meaning of being a farm girl better than having the heavy odor of horse or cow in your hair. Musks will be available like Ram Odor and Essense of Buck for men. Really REALLY potent. Everyone will notice that, and every farm girl will know what animal you've been around.
Making Hay While the Sun Doth Shine: Now this one actually sounds nice. If you've ever been in the middle of a hay field on a hot summer's day, raking hay and sweating all over, the smell of that grass drying is almost like an aphrodisiac. It's intoxicating. Unless you get hay fever. Then you won't be smelling much of anything out there.
Wet Wool: For those days when you have been in some really bad, wet weather and your clothing has gotten so damp it will take years for it to properly dry out. But really you only have two hours. So your house, or at least near the stove where everything is drying out, starts to smell like a wet dog has come to stay. And I know Pilgrims can also attest to this smell, with their damp wool clothing.
And there probably are more of them that I haven't thought of yet, but there is also the possibility for a whole line of Farm Girl beauty products.
Smokey Essence: A shampoo that allows your hair to smell like smoke, all the time! And you don't have to worry about making a smokey fire in your house to get the same effect.
Gardener's Nails: Nail polish that looks like dirt, so that you can have that "I've got dirt under my nails constantly because I'm digging around in it all the time" look for your nails.
Hay Hair Ties: You don't have to go for a roll in the hay to get hay all stuck in your hair. You can use these hair ties to have that "You know where I've been...." look. But who wouldn't want to roll in the hay.
I think I've got something here. I'll let you all know when the line is up and running.
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